"I wanted to tell her that being loved is a talent too, that it takes as much guts and as much work as loving; that some people, for whatever reason, never learn the knack"

— Tana French, The Likeness (via quoted-books)

(via twenty-fouroceans)

"The rape joke is that you were eight.
The rape joke is that at the time,
you didn’t know people had sex to express love.
The rape joke is that the only other person
who’d seen you naked was your mom.
The rape joke is that he called you ‘beautiful’ first.
The rape joke is that he held your hands together
and told you to ‘try harder’ when you struggled.
The rape joke is that you believed him
when he told you were overreacting.
The rape joke is that your grandma
called him a nice boy and asked him to stay for dinner.
The rape joke is that he winked at you
when you apologized to your parents for not coming
downstairs the first time you were called.
The rape joke is that his friends
high-fived him for “getting some.”
The rape joke is that you still don’t feel like
you’ve regrown the pieces he stole.
The rape joke is that he was conceived when his
dad slapped himself into his snoring mother.
The rape joke is that her friends told her
she was lucky someone wanted her.
The rape joke is that each year in the United States,
32,000 other women’s bellies
ripen with life against their will.
The rape joke is that he never learned
to touch without scarring.
The rape joke is that your classmate thinks
‘have you seen what asses look like in yoga pants?’
is an argument.
The rape joke is your new boyfriend kissing
you and telling you he ‘raped’ his math test.
The rape joke is that ‘Why are girls so scared of rape? Y’all should feel pride that a guy risked his life in jail just to fuck you’
is a popular Tweet right now.
The rape joke is that you wake up to
the memory of him laughing,
“now that wasn’t so bad, was it?”
The rape joke is that it’s been twelve years and
you still quiver when someone touches you.
The rape joke is that he hasn’t stopped laughing.
The rape joke is that you forgot how to."

The Rape Joke | Lora Mathis
Inspired by this. (via lora-mathis)

(via not-by-sight)

askthesixteenmbtitypes:

"Then don’t act so stupid."

Oh… Cultural appropriation here, perhaps? What do you think?

(via myersandbriggs)

alwayslabellavita:

What isn’t cultural appropration:

• Trying/eating/making a culture’s food
• Listening to that culture’s music
• Watching that culture’s movies
• Reading that culture’s books
• Appreciating that culture’s art
• Wearing that culture’s clothing IF in a setting where that culture is…

If I wanted to wear a sari on any given day in the state of Florida because I bought it at an Indian boutique and think it’s beautiful, would I be wrong as a POC who isn’t of Asian/Indian descent? I could be in the actual country of this clothing’s origin, here in America, or Trinidad. It’s a general, everyday article of clothing worn by women from India. There is no disrespect to be implied or perceived here.

As a Social Work major, I believe in respecting different cultures. However, I also believe in defending the rights of individuals—regardless of sex, race, nationality, religion, or culture. An individual should have the right to express himself or herself as long as that expression doesn’t disrespect and offend an entire ethnic group or culture, and definitely as long as it does no harm to anyone. I don’t believe appreciation equates with appropriation in a case like what I described above. I acknowledge that you’re writing from a place of irritation and anger, and I won’t invalidate your feelings. It is wrong to be told that you can’t be in America as a POC because you abide by your cultural customs, and I’m sorry that you experienced such hurt. Nonetheless, I’m for individuality; I respect yours, and I hope you can find it in your heart to respect others’ individuality as well.

I’m sure the cute Argentinian guy wearing dreadlocks, the white girl with a tribal tattoo on her arm, and the POC who dresses up as an anime character for cosplay mean no harm. This is what it means to appreciate—not appropriate—culture. Also, as an artist, I have no problem with non-hurtful and creative expressions in hair, skin, and clothing. In fact, it’s really awesome to see people embrace other cultures, to expand their horizons and boundaries in different and fun ways.

It would be helpful to remember that things change. People change. Nothing remains the same, and not even cultures are immune to change. I hope you don’t think it a bad thing that cultures change, new meanings are given to things and expressions vary from person to person.

shitrichcollegekidssay:

yalll don’t correct grammar if no one’s asking you to, that’s bullshit. there are way more important things out there. A person can be intelligent/knowledgeable and have shitty grammar. just stop.

That may be true, but I didn’t waste 12+ years  getting an education just to turn around and not utilize what I’ve learned about the English language and apply it. As a lover of literature and writing, sometimes it’s hard for me to take someone seriously when I’m having an online debate or a discussion, and he or she spells and composes sentences worst than the average third-grader. Then again, it’s the Internet…  and I have to come to grips with the fact that most others don’t share my love for English, and that it’s actually okay to make mistakes sometimes.

(LOL, okay. I sound so self-absorbed and perfectionistic there. I’ll stop now.)

Like, I’m not gonna be OCD and all “grammar nazi” about things I see on the World Wide Web if it isn’t formal writing or written to inform. Also, I know when to use jargon and when not to. I try not to come off as a pompous ass or a complete know-it-all because I know it turns people ALL THE WAY OFF.

Also, whenever I misspell something or use a word in the wrong context for a Facebook status update, comment, private message, or even a Tumblr post, I need to understand that this is also perfectly okay and I’m still learning. :)

Hey, it’s really personal. I’m a recovering perfectionist. Please, don’t judge me!

I’m really sorry if I sound ableist for telling you I can’t understand what you’re saying if YoU TyPe Lyk Di$ or u tp lik ths throughout your message, and I don’t have the patience to decipher what you’re trying to say. I’m not trying to be ableist, or anything that’s meant to oppress and divide. There might be a time when you Typ lyk di$ for something you’re NOT supposed to do that for, and your credibility will be lost. That’s the reality of the world we live in today. Unfortunately, nobody threw out the rule book for the English language, so the rules of grammar and spelling still apply in certain situations. I don’t care what the rules of the Internet are. If you write or spell incorrectly for something in real life, there’s a huge possibility that you won’t be taken as seriously. I was raised to be on my “p’s and q’s,” dot my “i’s” and cross my “t’s” at all times. I write correctly because I believe it gives me credibility. I know that whatever I write, I will write as clearly as I can and make sure I can be taken seriously. Then, I’ll believe people can understand what I’m trying to say in spite of what they might think about it. That’s all I can do, really.

Sincerely,

A lower-class, Black female college student on Financial Aid (Social Work Major)

"Women can’t urinate when they have a tampon in their vagina."

Freshman Biology Major (via shitrichcollegekidssay)

No, shitrichkidscollegesay, this is not #cissexism, #transmisogyny, or any type of oppression that you name in your tags. This is just straight STUPIDITY and ignorance.

"I guess my life hasn’t always been happy, or easy, or exactly what I want. At a certain point, I just have to try not to think too much about certain things, or else they’ll break my heart."

— Jonathan Franzen (via ohfairies)

(Source: emptieds, via a-restless-wind)

"Don’t ever be afraid of telling a guy exactly how you feel and asking them to be honest with how they feel. If you can’t do that, then you aren’t mature enough for a relationship. Too many women feel like they will run a man away by being honest. If you can’t be honest with him, what is the point?"

— Tenine Miles

Thoughts on Transparency…

Transparency is a scary thing for most people. When you’re open and real, you put yourself at risk for ridicule, rejection, and having your heart broken. You risk your reputation. These are only a few simple things being risked, but they mean everything. Therefore, people are inclined to be mistrusting, secretive, hiding behind walls or masks. It’s all for protecting the heart The pain of the heart is more intense than any physical pain we can endure.

People commit suicide to stop that pain… It’s more real than the pain you feel from a scraped knee or a broken arm.

I wish people were less afraid of themselves, and less afraid to genuinely love. I wish there were more people who would dare to be real. I believe if more people lived like that, there would be more healing in the world and a lot less pain.

I’ve decided that I’ll live life unafraid to be naked, and I won’t succumb to the pressure to make a lesser effort.

Whether I am accepted completely as I am, or abandoned… whether I realize all of my dreams or not… I know that I’m living conscientiously, and I take love and life seriously. I must make the most of them in every way. To handle these two of God’s most precious blessings with carelessness is the greatest sin.